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funky train mini-album

Funky Train Mini-Album, 2011. Boss Records.

The music is back! A self-contained mini-album bursting with funky flavour!

  • 'Funky Train' They're dancing on the funky train - 'cos they got soul.
  • 'Hey Mr Nice Guy' This one's for all the ladies out there who've been messed around.
  • 'Dark Eye' I don't know what you're doing to me, dark eye, but don't stop, don't stop.
  • 'Just Another Pop Song' Now available in digital!
  • 'Girls With Glasses' (Thriftshop XL D&B Remix) No one writes songs about this neglected demographic - until now!
  • 'Teenage Timebomb' Same as before but - now properly mastered.
  • Lyrics

(Suggested donation £1) Download Funky Train.

the weekend fix

The Weekend Fix, 2009. Sandstone Press.

A departure from the norm! My second book.

  • "It might fool you into thinking this is a book about the outdoors – which it is, and a very good one. But beneath the descriptions of Craig Weldon’s innumerable days on the hill there is a human story: an understated, poignant coming-of-age tale." - Carey Davies, The Great Outdoors
  • "This book is an easy and enjoyable passage to the misty mountains, as seen through the eyes of one who really knows them and really loves them." - David McLaughlin, The Scots Magazine
  • "It is a rare volume that could inspire me to climb Billinge Hill!" - Val Hamilton, The Angry Corrie
  • "This book covers an incredible amount of mountain days." - Hamish Brown

Buy from Amazon
Buy as an e-book

ddr remix ep

Dance Disco Robot Remix EP, 2006. Boss Records.

Super-talented types do remixes of old Pulsar tracks! Twice as long as the average EP!

  • 'Dance Disco Robot' radio edit.
  • 'Tokyo Sexwale' tarted radio edit McGazz
  • Dance Disco Robot' remix Candlelands
  • 'Robot Rework' Thriftshop XL
  • 'Tokyo Sexwale' Candlelands
  • 'BBC Hip Hop Tokyo Sexwale' version McGazz
  • 'Ten to 2' featuring The Electroluvs
  • 'Ten to 2' Stand and Deliver remix Candlelands

(£2 + 1 p&p)

teenage timebomb remix

Boy Don't Bother / Teenage Timebomb Single, 2006. Ninthwave Records.

  • A remix of an Electroluvs track for the single from their forthcoming Bubblewrapped album, Teenage Timebomb is now a disco stomper!

tokyo sexwale

Tokyo Sexwale, 2004. Boss Records.

All new tracks! Craig Pulsar reveals new Richard-Stilgoesque, piano-playing, other-band rip-offing tunesmithery direction. Some comedy, some rap, some topical stuff, mainly fun, fun, FUN!

  • 'Dance! Disco Robot' Robot dancing in magnetic pants.
  • 'Getting Off With Shereen' I Get Turned On By Minor Celebrities (© Boseley, Avid Merion, etc)
  • 'Heart So True' A searing love song? - no; a dig at George Bush.
  • 'Lotto Potto' If you want to win a game, say for e.g. life, the odds are in your favour if you get to make the rules.
  • 'My Fiat Uno' I have a Fiat Uno. Lanarkshire's greatest rhymers, The Hector Collectors, wrote a song about their Fiat Punto. A little sleight of hand, and hey presto...
  • 'My Stereo Is A Cunt' Yes, damn you stereo.
  • 'Ozzy Osbourne International' There's something that's been bothering me about Britain's second city, and I'd like to tell you all about it...
  • 'Tokyo Sexwale' The finest name in history!
  • Lyrics


Littlest Album 2, 2004. Stereo Solution Recordings.

  • Your mission, should you choose to accept: write a song no longer than one minute, to be included on 7" vinyl album 'Littlest Album 2'. I accept. This message will self destruct in ten seconds. Better tell you about the track then! 'Just Another Pop Song' is a song released by concept boy band the One Minute Wonders, masterminded by pop svengoran-ericksson Craig Pulsar. They came together to record and release this song, and disbanded immediately after their first ever gig. Very arch. Infectious beat, if only one minu….. BOOM!!
  • Lyrics


MLG: GDP: RMX, 2003. Press Hat & Cigar Records.

  • My Legendary Girlfriend, stalwart weegie band, produce an album called Gross Domestic Product. Most people would be content to leave things as they are and tamper no further with the very fabric of life. But no, not Paul McGazz: he wants a remix CD based on GDP as well. Therefore, meddling with forces beyond my understanding, Pulsar produces a cover version of Double Drop called 'Style Bar'. It is pretty rank, but some of the other tracks on this CD are excellent.
  • Lyrics


Smoke, 2001. Press Hat & Cigar Records.

  • Loungecore, in the noblest, cheesiest sense, the sort of song drunken businessmen with loosened ties love to sing at karaoke nights, is my contribution to this compilation of well known Glasgow unsigned bands, including names like Kasino and Transaudio. Track: 'Want You to Know' features the powerful guest vocals of Rob Harland, a regular on the local Birmingham circuit.
  • Lyrics


Mothballs Volume 3, 2000. Mouthmoth Records.

  • 'The People With Computers in Their Head', the hardest, starkest, most powerful tune I have done. Highly recommended if you have ever liked punk, hardcore synthesisers, or futurotica. Also see Mouthmoth's website.
  • Lyrics

    NB: There's no more copies of this record, but I can send you a CD. Or you could just download the mp3.


Splendid!, 1999. Boss Records.

This immense, sprawling, gallus abortion of a record is possibly one of the worst debut albums ever, if measured in terms of the difference between ambition and actuality. It has some good ideas, charmingly mutilated by hideous singing and instrumentation, and you have to screw up your face and squint to catch them. But they are there, oh yes.

  • 'History of Dance Pt 1' a literal interpretation of Cauty & Drummond's The Manual. Note to self: never start any future album with three minutes of solid 'four to the floor' drums and nothing else.
  • 'My Eyes' choral harmony, church stylee.
  • 'Jenny is a Full Time Flirt' some dream of dating a girl as hot as Jenny - the unlucky actually have...
  • 'Where Did She Come From?' a twist in the tale...
  • 'Perfect Song' a ballad with a searing lead solo.
  • 'When I Fall in Love' a rather soppy ballad. People like that kind of thing. Personally I'm not so keen, but I will always treasure the advice my old uncle, the great bluesman 'Blind' Lemone Scent, gave me on his deathbed: 'Craigie boy', he rasped, 'never neglect your fans: always give the ignorant fuckers what they want.'
  • 'Craigieburn Wood' a fully renovated folk song, with all mod cons for the 21st century.
  • 'The Things We Do' it all gets a bit dark here - perfect listening for cads, heels and spivs everywhere.
  • 'Buttshaker' play it at parties and people love it, it sounds almost exactly like everything else.
  • 'Splendid' probably the only song ever written in celebration of Terry-Thomas' character from School For Scoundrels.
  • 'Ten to 2' a tongue in cheek song for nightclubs - I would pay to hear this being played just before a nightclub shuts! (actually, I have heard a Pulsar song in a nightclub, but not yet Ten to 2...)
  • Lyrics

(£2 + 1 p&p)