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Unfulfilled Ambitions

There is only so much a man can do! Here are a few unfulfilled ambitions of Craig Pulsar:

  • To release a Eurodance track a week before Eurovision based on Edvard Grieg's I Dovregubbens Hall fronted by a hot Scandinavian girl/boy duo. They will be called the 'Nul Points'.
  • To get a decent singer to cover 'Ten to 2'. Ambition achieved!
  • To paint the boring brick facade of Hampden Park with a huge mural of intertwined Celtic motifs.
  • To fly an aeroplane. Ambition achieved!
  • To learn to sing.
  • To write an anti-comedy set in a hotel where no one ever checks in and there are no laughs at all.
  • To make a music video with dancing robots. Ambition achieved!
  • Cruel, but: for Billy Sloan's 'Celebrity Arm' to get stuck that way, and he has to turn sideways to pass through narrow doorways.
  • To do something useful for a change, like volunteering at the CHAS hospice.
  • To write the theme to a popular TV show. Or unpopular. Not fussy.
  • To publish a book about Scotland, kind of like (plug) except better. Ambition achieved!
  • Full employment, free school meals, and a tax on tungsten filament lightbulbs.
  • To climb the Matterhorn.
  • To see Motormark, Flying Matchstick Men, and Electroluvs on the same night. Ambition achieved!